know your starts FFX style
by Anyhoodle77
Summary: just another one of my odd spin offs of my know your stars segments read and review please great youre the best


Hello its me, ok Im gonna explain before I start, see my computer died, then I dont have the internet so Im mooching my sisters wifi connection and im going through hell to convert this from vista (shakes fist) so you peoples better like this heh j/k oh well I thought of this while playing/dying and FFX ((darn you sin! (Shakes fist)) And rereading some of my old van helsing parodies. Oh , I also wanted to address a small thing I keep doing, Im noticing that whatever I write cloud always seems to find his way in, Im making this up as I go along so it just sorta happens, hes an easy target I guess, so if you guys dont mind itll probably happen again, along with some other crossovers , and the others might blend into each other, so if you guys dont mind thats great but if its annoying tell me discreetly no flames please and thank you well less talk more fun kk

Disclaimer: I dont own it so dont sue me

Disembodied vice Current Character Other character Extra character Ok here we are again,

_Know your stars know your stars know your stars._

_Tidus...cries like a girl _

Hey no I dont

_Its ok dont cry_

Im not crying

_Tidus is afraid of fruit_

What? no Im not

_Especially pineapples_

Pineapples I'm not afraid of pineapples

_Youre afraid of oranges_

Thats because yuna and rikku chuck them at me when their mad or bored cant really tell the difference

_Mhmmm Tidus..is a professional ostrich racer_

Whats an ostrich racer?

_A racer that races ostriches doy _

_Tidus...is an official unofficial splinter cell Huh?_

Im not a splinter cell

_Tidus is illiterate_

Thats not true I can so read !

_Tidus doesnt know that I signed him up for the army_

What the?! I dont want to join the army!

_Why not?_

I cant join the army!

_Yeah your right I bet you couldnt do a push up to save your life_

Hey are you questioning my masculinity?

_What if I am? What are you gonna do about it pretty boy?_

(Sulks) You are not a nice person

_So I've heard moving on._

_Tidus favorite food is black_

Black is a color not a specific food

_Tidus is half guy, half hologram and a gallon of gin._

Why an entire gallon?

_Tidus is the real king of Narnia_

No Im not...

_Youre sure?_

yes, id think i'd know if i were a king

_Then who is?_

I dont know I dont even know what Narnia is!

_Mhmm look an orange!_

(Ducks) hey!

_Heeheh Tidus thinks picture frames are lazy_

Huh?

_Tidus doesnt know that I have his baby pictures_

What? You do?

_Mhmmm youre cute except in most of them youre crying like a girl _

Not all of them

_ Lets see when you were born-crying_

Well duh

_When you were learning to walk-crying_

Um yeah

_Learning to ride a bike, picture with the Easter bunny_

Hey whered you get those?

_Guess_

(Broods)

_First figure skating recital.cute costume very sparkly_

My mom maid me do that one

_Well I can see why you would cry in that one, that color doesnt suit you _

_Tidus used to date Zelda _

How do you know? (Stops)

_I didnt..._

...  
_So you did_

_Um Oh man..I was just joking but youre serious_

Shhhh (Whispers) yes, yes ok I admit it

_( epiphany) so thats why shes all over you all the time hmm.. i always though she lost a bet or something_

(Still whispering) yes it was a long long time ago its over now so drop it

_Why are you whispering?_

Come on just keep going, you can make fun of my baby pictures again

_Ohhhh Either yuna doesnt know...or you dont want her to know_

_Come one dont make me get it out of cloud, you give him a 20 and he sings like a bird_

No dont get captain blackmail into this

_Lets call him! (Dials phone)_

Ok ok yes she knows , its a sensitive subject so just drop it ok!

_Alright alright so how long did you date each otherâ€¦._

Long time ago

_Then why is she still mad?_

Well its not that shes still mad, she gets that it was along time ago its well we...she sorta kinda saw us at a party.

_(Clears thought)_

What. (Gets quiet) shes behind me isnt she

_Yeah_.

**_So what are we talking about hmm?_**

(Flinches turn around slowly smiles)

_**(Stares at him)**_

What?

_Ohh youre in trouble!_

**_Shut up you!_**

_Yes mame!_

Whats wrong now?

_**Nothing nothing at all**_

Dont start...do not start...

_**Whos starting stuff Im not starting anything**_

Here we go

_Are you guys ok?_

_**(Both at the same time) we're fine**_

Ok

**_(Crosses arms)_**

We have already been through this I said I was sorry, I forgot to tell you that I was going out

_**No, no you want to know what he did he said he was going out to celebrate a game, that he be right home, then he doesnâ€™t come home until six in the morning completely whacked off your rocker**_

No I wasnt

**_You were soo smashed you though you were cloud_**

I wasnt that messed up

Oh please he was sooo convinced you were cloud you both traded clothes

_What? And I missed this wheres tifa with a video camera when you need her? (Phone ringing) Hello?_

**Yeah Im a random caller and Id like to make a comment**

_Cloud stop butting in_

**Im not cloud, Im that guy in that one place that did that thing...you remember me anyway, abut the whole part thing**

**_ Knock it off cloud_**

**Dont get mad because you wernt invited**

Shut up cloud!

**_No its I didnt know where you were until a few days after, there was a magazine picture of you and guess who_**

**oh oh pick me mmmm Zelda!**

( everyone but cloud) go away!!

**_We went out to a party and I she saw a picture with me and Zelda No you went out and partied with Zelda, snake, samus and that freak up there _**

**Hey! Youre just jealous that hot blond chicks hang all over him...**

_Ohh youre both dead_

**um I gotta go...away see ya (click)**

( uncomfortable silence)

I didnt say that he did

_** ( sigh ) what ever its over **_

_Ok now that that over I want to address something I noticed _

What?

_You were one unhappy child hmm?_

Huh

_Well I was looking through the rest of these pictures and your crying in all of them_

_**Ya I noticed that too**_

Dont gang up on me!

_I was exaggerating before but seriously you are crying in all of them_

which ones?

_hmm lets see First birthday, second birthday, first day of school, first blitz ball game, birthdays mostly.oh wait heres a slightly happy one, (flips picture) oh no next one your crying _

well I...

_ were you ever a happy child? Even your finger paintings are sad (shows a picture of a flower with a sad face painted in blue finger-paint) why so glum sugarplum?_

Umm .( sulks) I dunno .I guess because of my dad

_Aww daddy issues hmm? _

(Nods sadly)

_Daddy wasnt there?_

(Lowers head) nope For any of these No (looks up) well he was for some, and even if he was there all he did was make me feel bad (starts getting mad)  
Uh oh Calling me good for nothing, and a baby and when id start to cry he said thats all I was good for and (starts crying)

_Oh crap hes crying,_

**_Well you didnt need to poke at him _**

_Well I can honestly say it wasnt my intention nor was I expecting to make him cry though I have to admit I got a cooler reaction than I thought I would _

(Keeps crying)

_Um do you want a teddy bear or a cupcake or something.someone get this boy a cupcake _

( looks up and Starts yelling ) Im not like you dad! Im not you!

_Oh dear _

Well you know what old man? Im not like you! All I wanted was for you to be proud of me! But you never were¦.. were you? (Shakes fist at sky)

_Um is he gonna be ok?_

_**Yeah believe it or not he does this a lot; he'll be ok in a minute**_

_ Ok (ignoring his ranting) so he really thought he was cloud ya and they really traded clothes?_

Yah they thought it would be funny if they switched clothes to see if we would notice, it was ciyte for a while since cloud is like a foot and a half taller than him (Suddenly stops)

**_Are you done?_**

( sniffs nods) can I still have a cupcake?

**_If he gets a cupcake I want a cupcake _**

_No ones getting cupcakes_

**_(both) aww..._**

_fine..only one_

**_better be a big one..._**

_What ever now you know tidus..I think_

Ok man that took a while to write oh I also want to state something else if you havenâ€™t noticedâ€¦I think drunk people are funnyâ€¦there it is out in the openâ€¦â€¦well I hoped you guys liked it read and review please


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